Narrative and Genre Unit: Essay draft feedback

So last week I handed in my first draft of my essay. I managed to write 2300 words for this essay and I was really pleased with what I did, as I really got into it once I started writing. The main feeback that I received was to develop arguements, adding detail and also examples from that program or similar programs. Helen was really pleased with the digital multi platforming section. I also need to consider how the gamshow genre use capitalist ideology and how different the story and the heroes would be in a communist society.