'From the seclusion of her white cell, neurotic Sadie reflects upon the drastic actions she took to secure her father for herself for eternity.'
Doesnt give much away, but I guess thats the whole point of a pitch! I have been working on character profiles to give my characters real depth to them. I have also began my synopsis, which was alot harder than the pitch!
maddie,this is a good start but a couple of things - a character name doesn't work in a pitch (unless its a well known character like batman) so get rid of Sadie and describe as whatever she is (ie young woman, old woman, girl etc). "Neurotic" is this a term that really sells? "Drastic actions" is good, that works, but "reflects upon", again not very powerful.. remember the pitch doesn't have to describe the story, it SELLS it. So the aspect of your story that clearly sells are things like drastic actions and eternity and girl and father... play around with it.
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